After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
