Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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