there's paper in my vomit.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
