Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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