i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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