last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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