big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
