But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize