He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
