he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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