Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
