fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
