So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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