NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
