you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
