mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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