Having a random hookup so left but love u
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it's great music for shaving your balls
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
