I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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