Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize