I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
