he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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