apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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