I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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