It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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