i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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