Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
