I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
