I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
