How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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