last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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