You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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