My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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