Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
