Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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