the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
