the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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