ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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