I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
