I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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