i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
