Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
