Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
