I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
