Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
