what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
