dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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