shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
