'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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