I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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