there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
