you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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