He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
