i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
