I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
