yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize