he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
