she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
