Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
